Recently, while talking with some friends, it seems a repetitive conversation continues to surface around feelings of overload-frustration and unfulfilled dreams. I know these two unwelcome companions all too well and it’s an ongoing challenge to find ways to give them a good butt-kick out of your life. Finding balance in life is not always easy. For myself, I find when I say “yes” to too many projects these guys tend to appear. There certainly are responsibilities in life that can’t be avoided; but you’ll be much more efficient at everything you do if you choose to do a few things well, rather than a whole bunch of stuff half-heartedly. And exhaust yourself in the process. Often what can then follow is anger about not getting your own needs met. It’s been a long lesson for me, but I’m discovering if every day I put some time aside for myself, I am much more efficient at what I’m doing in other areas of my life. Making yourself a priority in your own life is not easy for many people, especially parents. And no, it’s not selfish; it’s just downright smart. When you feel good about yourself, the feelings will be projected onto the world around you. Keep in mind the external world is always going to reflect your internal state of mind. If you’re angry, bored, unhappy, frustrated, annoyed, overwhelmed, whatever, there’ll be a tendency to point the finger at someone or something outside of yourself like your work, your partner, your ex-spouse, your kids, the government, etc. Your time would be much better spent being proactive in your own life and taking positive, individual steps toward making the world a better place rather than sitting around whining about it. And that includes making time to nurture your own body and spirit.
By the way, I’m also aware of a number of people who love to dream and then sabotage the dream by creating an agenda that’s so big, there’s no way it could ever be accomplished. Another great way to self-sabotage is to stay so busy there’s no time left to bring your dreams into reality, other than in conversation. It’s often an interesting and unconscious avoidance technique. There’s nothing wrong with creating a big picture, but you need to then break it down into really small steps. The dream might manifest at a snail’s pace, but so what, at least you’ll eventually get to the goal and not shut down.
Here is another way dreams get squashed: Often couples have so much drama going on in their relationship they don’t take the time or have the energy left to create an intimate, supportive role for each other. It’s easy to get addicted to the excitement turmoil creates without realizing it can be the fuel that keeps you from being intimate or taking responsibility for bringing your own desires into reality. You then get to blame your mate for keeping you from reaching your own self-expression.
All of the aforementioned is good food for thought. So I hope some of you will take the time to reflect on what is or what isn’t working in your life and maybe make some personal changes. The rest of you, keep enjoying your life and reaching your personal dreams. |
